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The lunatic is on grass

July 13, 2013

Reckless Dream: II

There were a thousand stars that crowded the absurd sky that night. The whole world was wonderfully lit and it seemed as if the stars had descended from above to illuminate a very tiny and insignificant part of the cosmos. The clock had stuck 2 a.m when I saw last of it. I had a dream that night.

There was a carnival going on in a faraway place and I was determined that I would go. I took a cab and followed the lights that led to the luminescent glow at the far end of the unending road.
The journey would take eternity to reach the destination we've embarked upon. It was many light years away. So I decided to take a nap as I was getting weary of the journey. It took me all of my adolescence to realize how existence is like a day’s living extended over a period of time that’s dividable in mathematical figures. It was therefore, unbelievable when I first realized that life’s true purport was to revel in the bloom that nature offers mankind at the lapse of each season. It’s an everlasting delight to take fancy in such continuous replenishment of felicity. I was absolutely elated yet filled with an obnoxious feeling of fear that held me captive under its captaincy over my feeling of infrangible bliss. There were these noticeable layers of contradictory and complementary feelings stacked together haphazardly, each one as complete and absolute as the other. I tried diverting my mind to the lights outside. But the euphoria from the dark began to creep in and transform me into some sort of a dry cold blooded reptile which scared bejesus out of me. So I opened my eyes and I looked outside the window. Suddenly wild crooked beings came leaping inside the car.

There were millions of them. Each one was to carry the burdens of my life on their frail shoulders. Those insect-like messengers from the underworld with burdening responsibilities entered through my material body. They hummed The Host of Seraphim in barren undertones as they peeled the human skin off of me. I didn't shriek in agony, there was no pain involved. It was a part of the ritual, they informed me. The cleansing of soul had begun. I was getting prepared for the confluence. 

“The entry to the carnival shall only be received and redeemed to those who are in control of the trueness and fluidness of the surroundings”, whispered one of the messengers through the glitchy electronic public announcement system as the song came to its end. I must be close, I wondered. But, then the creatures, the keepers of my mortal burden, started jumping out of the window which was open to allow fresh air to come in. They paraded out slowly, assisted by other beings, one after the other. My gaze was fixed at them as they committed a communal suicide for a common man like me. 'My responsibilities will kill so many of them', I thought. It must have taken another eternity for them to perform their task. Probably I had lived off another lifetime somewhere in a faraway universe by now. I saw the last one of them leaped off from what was now a completely clean taxi. I was so engrossed bidding those fair insects farewell that I didn't really know when the surroundings changed and shapes shifted.

The air around me had picked up a peculiar smell. It gave me the creeps as I figured that something had obstructed my olfactory sensations to work efficiently. My prognosis concluded I had acquired parosamia. I think it was because of the those spirits, I had hired for guidance. They must have distorted my nose and it could be the side-effect of the spirits that I had to bear. But my vision hadn’t blurred yet. I glanced out of my cab to take a look around. I looked into a distant event and I must impress that I had never seen something so spectacular in my entire life. 

There was an orchestra playing Stravinsky at the far end of a circle within which was contained a magnificent lot of little mermaids who performed a ballet dance for the audience seated at the stadium. The width of each tier at the stadium was carefully calculated and had exactly the same dimension as the other; the hierarchical system of authority had been abolished on strict orders. From the distance I could see the riots break out somewhere near the periphery, but it was too early for it to reveal its significance. The steps upon which the audience sat with keen eyes, were embedded with radium. The fluorescent light emitted due to some chemical, laid down clear demarcations between the three groups of audiences that consisted of creatures from three different worlds.
While I was scrutinizing this heavenly event, suddenly an intuition that the whole foundation was bound to collapse flooded my mind. I had not realized the potential of my vision yet when I began to hear shrieks and screams coming from that same distant place. I blame myself for what happened next as those poor seemingly civilized creatures from each of the three worlds who had sat relishing the dramatic act with utmost empathy for the other till now, had transformed into bloodhounds and demons of sorts. Their altruism was much talked of until my conscience intruded theirs with an interest to boost my own understanding of something quite irrelevant and unmatched to the loss and suffering I had thus inflicted onto those innocent beings. I even requested the spirits, my humble guides, to take matter in their own hands. However, they too were mere pawns in front of this mother of all anarchy.

An opinion of a stranger, a different species altogether had brought upon them the apocalypse that they had never dreamed of. Yet I was not able to digest the idea of a utopian setup where the hierarchical system could be abandoned and abolished. There was certainly a fault in the chemical structure in their brains, (which I had somehow, infiltrated and maligned with my thoughts) which was probably been mastered by a supreme power for a very long time. He may have wanted to keep them under His control. But only until now. On the contrary it led to their demise as a race, since My observation pierced through His despised Intention. The poor creatures were subjected to denial and self-effacement when they ought to have been taught to cope up with “reality”. 

The tragedy ended in complete darkness. It seemed like a dying star from the distance where I was now. 'The circle of life continues regardless of mere mortal follies and accomplishments'. For the whole setup soon became a black hole leading to infinite possibilities. As I tried to gaze into the eye of the black hole which had just been born out of my naivety, it awoke. It saw me looking and pulled me in.

I believe I was sinking down an endless kaleidoscopic void. And as I fell into this cylindrical emptiness, the pictures started to fill in the perpetually changing patterns on the walls of the void. The history of Humanity ran across my face on them walls. I learned and registered in awe everything that man had become (and everything that he couldn’t while he could have). Parallel multiverses formed as the slightest of changes unraveled themselves like fireflies flying at dark nights as this one. Time was tamed and it allowed me to go through the life of every man that will ever live. I saw the rise of Adam and his flourishing notoriety; I saw both his noble deeds and his gruesome acts of horror. But I saw both of His acts with the same eye. The eye was the light and my honest guide through this part of the journey. Every possibility played simultaneously around me inside this seraphic coil which must have only been illuminated for a selected few who had embarked towards the Carnival of Infinite Brilliance. ‘There are but few who choose the destination which you've boarded’, my driver informed me as if he had a microphone fitted in my brain which had sensed my thoughts. The world outside had turned completely blank exactly when we reached the Present. I tried to give a nod of approval to my cosmic charioteer but my head felt like a stone. I realized I had lost control over my body, save the photo-receptors cells of the eye and the brain which were still in my command. Because I had also thought of utilizing the timely break in the unfolding of surroundings to lift myself and allow myself a better view of the walls of the portal but I couldn't move. 

I couldn't even budge an inch and I was trying to be as inconspicuous as I can in my movement but the driver surprisingly sensed my struggle everytime. He persuaded me to try and relax. I didn't pay much attention to him as I was busy dealing with my physical inconvenience when he spoke again, ‘On this part of the journey, bodily involvement is unneeded . Calm down and just keep your eyes open.’ As I was listening to him it occurred to me that my auditory organs had also been non-functional ever since we were gulped down this Portal of Frozen Time. I couldn't have realized had he even been speaking to me, as I was apparently deaf. As a matter of fact, I haven’t even seen his face! He had always been driving and looking ahead. Yet the voice I heard was clear and recognizable to an extent that I could give it a name. The driver had been frozen like me and there was no one else except him and me. I started to feel a bit awry of him and although he had brought us well so far, this detour wasn't necessary. This inconvenience wasn't desired. I decided to shrug off the voices. Mind must have been tired of the on-flow of Infinite Knowledge. It must have gone haywire, I assumed. I continued to try to move myself. I wanted a clear view of the outside and I had to be quick to avoid missing the forthcoming visual commentary that could begin any moment. For I’d figured, They would show the future.

Although I couldn't have calculated the time it took to move myself, the laws of space and time were
as imaginary a thought as the one I was in. But it sure seemed like another eternity. And all I could manage
in this vast time-span was to wiggle the pinky of my left foot. I didn't miss anything though. They didn't start until I was ready. It was part of the plan because I realized that as soon as the pinky moved- 
Because colors flew all around us. Disarrayed; violent. They started to wrap me up and I could do nothing about it. The riot of colors formed a vortex with the outlet focused on me. 'They are attracted to your mortal remains', announced the driver or whatever it was in my head. He spoke after long I realized. They started to crawl inside my body, slithering through the veins and every inch of my molecule. At one point I was made of nothing but colors. But I could only see, like a spectator in awe and horror. A rush of hues of vibrant colors sparkled and curled inside me and slowly started to rise towards my head. I couldn't have known how I was looking until the driver adjusted his rear-view mirror to look at me. It was the first time he moved ever since this pilgrimage had begun. Maybe the colors aroused his curiosity or it was a staged move, I would never know. Nevertheless, what I saw was as bizarre as everything else that I've encountered in this strange journey. For I saw myself looking at The Ancient Reptile of Thousand Colors and it was creepy. But it was not the end of it because it got worse when I realized the Ancient Reptile was Me and the driver was I.

Terrified as I was with my own image in the mirror, I thought of jumping out of the moving vehicle which was in fact making me claustrophobic now. I could move myself now, or whatever remains of Me inside the Ancient Reptile of Thousand Colors. I needed to breathe. When I looked at my hideous visage, I realized that I must have been out of breath since the reptile suit engulfed my form. I could feel my lungs contract every time I tried to take a deeper breath. I paused and sat back in my seat. I closed my eyes and saw the devil approve my long pending petition, written in about a hundred words and successfully describing all the necessary clauses as to what should happen if I crossed the boundaries of my conscience. The ephemeral existence of man that has to perish one day was not just an intangible idea anymore.

I was alive. 
I was there. 
A tourist in a place as bizarre as thought itself
And I had seen it all. 
And beyond. 

I awoke and it was exactly 2.10 a.m.