About Me

November 8, 2008

rubber man

u just walked out,
when Mr. rubber man was about to tell a story.
Of a yellow bus and purple gloves,
who wear shoes in their legs and drink wine,
they were walking by the river side,
when Mr. slimy hat came and said,
"where did u buy them shoes from?",
"yonder the village of old cups,we bought them big shoes from",
said the purple gloves while drinking the wine.

October 8, 2008

lost hope

sometimes i linger upon my silence.
am i doing something i shouldn't do?
my life is entangled in a web of doubt.
its difficult to single out wrong from right.

the path i chose don't belong to me,
i don't belong to the path.
still i walk.
cos that's the way of life.
uncertain of my destination i walk.
leaving behind trails of broken faith.

my silence will speak someday.
my guilt will testify my deeds.
but I'll bear everything.
i have no other choice.

i'm lost in the solitude.
shame my only pride.
to whom i belong,
and who belongs to me
i'll ask that myself forever.
still silence will never speak.
it only speaks to tear me down.
it only speak to push my guilt deeper in me.
i know i'll drown before life is found.

August 23, 2008

Enlightenment of the Inner Conscience

It was on my first airplane trip when I saw an unusual view of what was otherwise a cyclic chore of nature. We were airborne since midnight and dawn was about to break. The excitement of crossing borders and exploring a new country and culture kept me from sleeping during the flight. Below is an account of the thoughts that stirred in my mind and the beauty that inspired it. I couldn't click a photograph that time and this is the best picture I could find over the internet.I hope it proves handy :



Do I feel like god? Lofted above the melodramatic strings playing inside the heart of millions of human lives.
City lights.I'm flying over drone mammals lost inside their lives like the slumber they are into right now.They,practically can't absorb my presence, neither can I.But what the heck. I'm above them,I can see them,feel the wind around them.This twilight,the breaking of dawn,what I see in d horizon is sheer brilliance of god.I can see it,and appreciate it.The wonderful mixture of colors.God must be a kid.Not scared of throwing different colors on his canvas.The horizon spells ablution of dark red melting into orange a little above where sky unites with land,then this exotic orange fades into a pretty light yellow.Then a thin streak of Grey of a cloud which was acting like a natural barrier between yin - yang, light and darkness, because after it, tones of blue start appearing:from a light fading blue to getting darker and finally meeting the pitch dark night which is still dominating the sky like a mighty warrior of ancient roman era.

I can still see the stars.Watch them showing their existence.Representing the presence of little good otherwise left in our petty lives overcome by our dark self.Undoubtedly the best conversation I've ever had with mother nature.I found the beauty that stays hidden from us.Only if we shed our disillusioned hypocrite life and rise above everything,above all of it that we can see the works of nature in harmony with itself still not bothered by all the ill deeds of man.

July 9, 2008

Rewind

LIFE
life is a jar with a hole,it comes out slowly,you open it and its gone forever as if it was never there,just a bleak shadow of the infinite,non-existent.present only for a blip of time.thousand strands attached to it,clutching to its bosom not letting it go,but still it leaves.like a heart broken lover cheated by none but their better half.never to return. leaving behind many lives.silent houses.lifeless faces.

DEATH
Death.its a bad situation to be in.you die all of a sudden.can't see all your loved ones before going away.you can't even put your best clothes on.or spray your favorite scent.

i wish i could die like that: my choice of clothes,polished shoes,favorite perfume.i'll die the death of a happy man of earthly possessions.materialistic desires fulfilled.my face will glow with happiness. filling up death with shame and guilt for feeding the soul of such a light-heart content man to scavengers of peril.death will look so shameless and inhuman.but i know he is painful and stronger than me.I'll be the loser in the end of it.cos this happiness is just a cowardly veil to hide the fear of the presence of death.even he knows that.he is not dumb.he was smarter than Einstein that's why mr. relativity guy lost it to death.I know I'll be a miserable piece of shit after i die.always searching for happiness in money.buying what money can buy and staying away from those which it can't.i never had anything that i could take away with my in my afterlife,dust to dust,ash to ash.that's how it goes.i never took anything. i was just a minute part of bigger schemes of things.my life was nothing but one massive piss ready to evaporate.

PEOPLE
when you walk down this earth you'll realize how much shit is growing around you.people spit on your face and say I'm just giving you some water to wash your face.people.they never stop.they never behave.they are heartless human.they pull you down when you are above them and push you even more when you are below them.they drink others' live,burn them in the name of god.the masks they wore to deceive you, to force you sell your own wife to them.their soul is auctioned on ebay and they donate their conscience in tip-boxes.

HAPPINESS
happiness.it's just a state of mind.its sort of an injection of opium to keep you away from the realty of pain.a utopic presence.the sweet rain of milk shakes which in the real picture otherwise is the outcome of god jerking off all over you, which absolutely is not a good experience.not a good experience at all.but you are rejoicing.cos you are happy.you are not ready to accept how much scum lies ahead of you.maybe you are scared.or maybe you are just a coward.a cry baby when oh-i-am-in-deep-shit situation comes.but you can't help it.its normal human instinct.they are made to wet their pants when trouble scratchs their balls.

July 5, 2008

Torn

Fly all over me
my life is stark naked in front of thee.
thou thread hath controlled me throughout my life
thou wrath reverberates inside my eyes