About Me

April 10, 2013

My Lucid Dream

Close your eyes.
You know I love those brown eyes.
You know I love looking at them.
But close them for now.
Trust me it's going to be fine.

Give me your hand, would you?
You know I've kept them warm in cold days
and patted them dry in hot summer Mays.
and of course, you know how I feel when I hold your hand
so don't refrain just once again.

Come closer. 
As close as two Dandelions locked in one.
Let me touch your skin once again.
You know how much I love
to run my fingers all over you
Like a young voyager 
who has discovered his own paradise.
I know you won't fret for what I'd do.
You know me. And my wants. 
And I know you.

Be here, for now.
Let us be content.
and forget what is real and what is not.
I know the night will be gone soon.
And with it, you'll fade away too.
But just stay here, for now.
Right here where you are.
Close to my heart.
So that I can remember, 
the sound of your breath
and of your heart.
I know you'd listen to mine
You had often done that.
You would tell me when it was pacy, my heart;
and when it was calm like a sweet morning song.

I know there has been a lot of useless bickering
I know we have fought more than we could forgot.
But let's just stay shut tonight,
let's not speak a word.
Let our actions speak this time.
Let's just figure out what kept us ticking all this while.

Take off your sadness,
let me help you take it off.
We've done this before,
we've been there in each other's woes.
So help me once again
to take mine off too?
Because I hope you know, 
that I'm not made of just tears and thorns.
No man is.
A happy face sits beneath it all.
The one you had brought forth.

Share with me your God 
like you once did.
I've never had mine, 
I never believed.
But in your eyes, 
I had seen 
subtle changes in life 
faith can bring. 
I might never understand that,
but I understood your belief.

Hold on,
don't sway now.
Clutch my hand tightly
like we always did.
regardless of the world
we kept close.
I know we don't anymore.
But it was something I won't forget.

Let me capture your smell,
before it's too late.
You've taught me how to.
I'll store it somewhere deep in my heart,
The way you always would
whenever we would kiss each other goodbye.

Don't fade away now,
please don't.
Let me grab you by your waist,
let me pull you closer.
mad man you'd call me,
a drunkard in love.
I fell into you
when you had already cautioned me.
But did I make a mistake?
Was it all a waste?
Don't you remember me; us?
don't you remember the stoned eyes?
Don't you long for my touch,
or for those silent whispers in your ear,
or for all the places we've discovered together?

You had a place in my heart,
I wanted to keep it special.
But one day it'll be replaced,
no matter how much I'd want it to stay untouched
the memory will one day get erased
only to make way for new ones
and to be forgotten again.
That's what life is isn't it-
loop spun infinite times over?

I guess the longing doesn't matter now,
when the raindrop has flow away from the cloud,
never to return again.
Even these illusions don't matter anymore.

So begone now,
fade into oblivion.
Let me wake up.
Let me forget it all,
Away from me
Your world will be.
Away from you,
I will be.


Tanya said...

This was so beautiful. I was watching Before Sunrise and it was only befitting that just after the movie finished, I read something like this.

Loved it.

Shruti said...

Lucid dreams are scary. That edge is scary. The fear of the unknown.

This piece was exactly like that. That moment when you're there and you realize that you were never there.

Sigh! Too much truth to handle.

Zeba said...

Your beautiful writer.

Kshipra said...

This was beautiful.
Haunting and beautiful. :)
I almost remembered this song "Dark Paradise"- Lana Del Rey, if it is not too popsy for your taste. :P

Kshipra said...

I read it twice. Loved it. :)

Ausdrucklos said...

@ Tanya : Thank you. I loved before sunrise and before sunset. they are One of the very few romantics that I like. The others on the list are eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, candy, cashback, garden state, the mexican. Watch them if you haven't.

Oh and thank you for comparing it on the lines of before sunrise. it was an honour.

Ausdrucklos said...

@Shruti: Yes scary is the word. Knowing truth is difficult. It's scary. Cos while we are in the midst of things, we overlook the flaws, the problems, the reality. And once the bubble bursts, the whole foundation collapses, we encounter reality. And it scares the shit out of us.
But i guess that's the romance of life. Falling, learning and getting up. Taking things on your stride, and finding beauty amidst this circus of life :)

Ausdrucklos said...

@Zeba: Firstly, I would like to take this opportunity to tell you how much i love your stories. The way you serve the reader all the ingredients to visualize along with you is amazing. I wish to write like that!

And Thank you! Be here for more!

Ausdrucklos said...

Hey, thank you Kshipra! Oh i've heard lana del rey, it's all about money. Sahi tha. But yes this one was tad a little popsy :p
I liked it though, the lyrics reminded me of It; the edge; of a love song; and this dream. I guess this is the story of the whole world at one point of their life.

Oh and thank you once again for reading it twice :)
and thank you for telling it to me. I've read a lot of your posts twice but never could i've imagined how great it feels when you get to know someone has read what you've written more than once. I'll keep it in mind for the next time :)